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Jump to: “Find a Church”/ Links here. Preaching the Gospel here. Leadership, responsibility and the bounds of Authority here. The Church and Emotional Recovery Some quotes from a Site Visitor.... “ ....I have no church at the moment - I find it hard, as no one knows the screaming pain inside of me. I have been suicidal at times and at those times, ring a lifeline number just to talk to someone... ....I wish churches would realise that there are a lot of wounded people out in the community, those who are on the fringes, they feel very isolated and left out of the normal church going crowd... ....I find that going to church is like a sham, the music plays, people have happy faces, clap their hands, and I am bleeding to death inside, and I think, I just have to pretend that I am OK, if someone asks, “How are you” what would they say if I said, well, I wanted to slash my wrist last night ? ....They feel threatened I think, if there is someone in the congregation who does not act like the others, CHRISTIAN CLONES! It doesn't matter if your life has just been shattered, all they want to see is that when you come to church, you just conform and be like everybody else, clap your hands, dance, move your feet (all these directions come at you), beaming face, forcing, everyone to dance, be happy, and clap your hands... ....once the Pastor glanced in my direction a few times, and I just feebly clapped my hands. And I think he got angry, he "preached" at me, in between the songs. "If you can go the football field and shout and clap”... etc., - you know the spiel, - “in church, you must be joyful, you come here to praise Jesus, no matter how you feel, you must enter into the praises of God, for God dwells in the praises of His people"... ....This is just such a terrible, terrible, travesty of the message of the whole Gospel - where is the good Samaritan, I feel I am bleeding on the roadside of life, where is the desire to heal the broken-hearted, to bind up the bruised - the ministry of Jesus! Nowhere! ” Christian Recovery
There are no excuses. Church should be a place of love and acceptance. The Church has a responsibility to care for its own members, and particularly for those who are weak or suffering. These people need our love and support at a time when they are suffering so much. Where the Church cannot help, it should have the foresight and the willingness to point to other places, for example to medical professionals, who may be able to offer assistance to our wounded members.
So often it is the selfish attitude of some Christians that lets the Church down in this area. It is when the leaders or members of a church simply do not care about how others are really feeling, and what they are experiencing, that suffering is not noticed.
It may be the case that some of those who suffer do so quietly - they are either too timid or too afraid to speak out. However, those with a little love in their hearts can usually notice when there is deep need inside someone. Often a failure to notice suffering simply demonstrates a failure to love.
Leaders should lead in recovery
Please let us make sure that where there is such weakness in our Churches, we deal with this problem. Jesus commanded us to love both God and one another (Luke 10:27). Surely we do not want to disobey God. Surely we do not want to deny the hand of help to those who are drowning in our very midst.
Leaders have a Biblical responsibility to make sure that those in their churches have the help that they need. This does not mean that our leaders have to spend all their time counselling us. There would never be enough time! However, what it does mean is that they should take active and practical steps to make sure those who are struggling feel comfortable enough to come forward for prayer and support.
Those who are hurting inside or who are struggling with different issues and problems need to have a confidence that they will not be judged or looked down upon. Attitudes in many churches need to change, so that people can come out from their silent suffering and receive genuine acceptance. Church leaders need to take a lead in this change and take their pastoral responsibility seriously. Scripture says that they will be judged more harshly than others, because of their position of influence and because of the opportunity that they have to lead others closer to Christ and deeper in true fellowship with one another.
A United, Loving Church Body
As Christians we must be united. Where Churches agree on the fundamental aspects of faith - Christ as the bringer of salvation, and the Bible as His word of truth, then we need to be broad minded, I think, about networking and working together towards our common goal. If we pray together and are unified we will see many more people come to know Christ. Also, the quality of our fellowship - the amount of love and support people receive through Church, will improve in a natural, automatic way. There are links in the Evangelism section to good Christian sites that specialise in encouraging unity and prayer across the body of the Church.
Apart from the wider picture of the Church reaching out to those people who are currently without God, we also need to be united in a personal sense. This site aims to encourage and strengthen people in their spiritual and emotional selves. It also particularly aims to encourage Christians to be sensitive to those in spiritual and emotional need around them. This particularly includes fellow Christians.
As Jesus teaches in Luke 10 (the parable of the good Samaritan), we should love one another. This goes beyond merely being friendly and courteous to people. Often we have to be patient in our conversation and engagement with people who may be quiet or seem a little unfriendly. Rather than not wanting friendship, the reality could be that someone’s confidence is being stifled by their hurt and broke[n]ness within. Romans 15 (particularly verses 1-7), is useful in providing some teaching about the importance of love, encouragement and unity in the Body.
We often do not notice people in need like this because we do not stop to think. Alternatively, it could be because we really do not care about others. This selfishness - an inherent negative condition that we all suffer from, has found its answer on the cross of Christ. As we are saved from our sin, we can and should break free from sinful attitudes and habits. It is a matter of obedience and action - to repent of our sin and selfishness and to deliberately start to show a real love and concern for brothers and sisters who are weak, or who have been through the fire of suffering.
Christian Isolation
If you are in a church where no one seems interested in you and people are not able or willing to provide at least some support if you are experiencing a personal difficulty or crisis, then I want to say a few words to you. Do your best to look for another church! Guard your heart and do not expect too much from people. Put your hope in God, but also seek the Christian help that you need (and professional help for that matter, if this is needed).
It is essential that you should meet with other Christians in a meaningful way. It is also important to have deeper friendship with some Christians. If you know that there is no one that you can relate to in this way in your [c]hurch, then it is better to move on if you can. Some people may judge or criticise you for this, but do your best to explain to them your situation, and to keep in good relations with them.
How ever you find it, and to whatever lengths you have to go to, you must find meaningful fellowship. If the quality of this is less than you would hope for, then something is certainly better than nothing and you can pray for further provision. You must at least have some people who you can share with and pray with. Relating to this issue of fellowship is the concept of Christians living together in a community of some type. Please see the “Lonely/Bereaved” section for some comments about Christian communities, as well as the links section of that page.
Preaching the Gospel
The Church’s primary task on earth is to share the Gospel; the message of salvation through Christ. Before He is taken into Heaven, Jesus makes a clear command to His disciples to preach the Gospel to all people (Matthew 28:18-20). We are expected to share the Gospel with others - it is required. There is more about evangelism, including a featured article, in the evangelism section. However, at this point here we would like to make a connection with one of the main purposes of this site. We should share the Gospel in both words and actions. We need to be shrewd, creative and natural in sharing God with our unbelieving friends and work colleagues.
Above all, we should take opportunities to share God with people - actually telling them about our spiritual convictions and of our experiences of God in our lives. As well as this, we must conduct ourselves in a godly way. Treating people with respect and fairness is always noticed and is usually seen as a positive thing, even if people do not comment on it. Some people have needs, for example, they are lonely or perhaps they are poor.
The rest of the site has comments and resources on how some of these problems can be met in practical ways. Out of love and obedience to God’s command (Leviticus 19:18, Luke 10:27), we must make an effort to care for those who are suffering wherever we can. We can also act practically to demonstrate this love.
Two dynamics of love should meet together. We show love in both our practical actions and words of benevolence and also through the act of sharing the message of the Gospel in plain words - directly. This need not be with any confrontation or fear. Many of us have a lot to learn about how to be natural in sharing our faith. Again, we hope the Evangelism section will provide some useful thoughts and links on this area.
Leadership: responsibility and the bounds of Authority
Authority has its limits. It seems that so many people that I have meet have had bad experiences of leaders or others in the Church hurting or disappointing them. Well, in one sense this should not be surprising, of course. We are all human, and our selfishness and pride so often gets in the way of us serving our brothers and sisters in the way that we should. However, leaders do have a specific responsibility upon them to act in a way that builds up the believers that they are leading.
Some leaders love the power and influence that they hold and use their position to protect themselves from their own insecurities. For example, if they feel they have been hurt or let down by someone in the church, they may forget the law of forgiveness (for it is a law in the sense that we must forgive to please God). They might gain revenge through sidelining the offending party in an over-the-top way; as if God Himself were abandoning those church members.
We must not expect too much from our leaders - everyone has their faults. It is also important to think through or clarify with your church the specific people who have pastoral responsibility. In a big church, or even a smaller one, the main leader obviously cannot look after the pastoral needs of everyone. However, what should be present form leadership is a recognition that people do need looking after, and a willingness to both encourage pastoral friendship in the church (that is, people looking out for one another’s spiritual and emotional needs), and to also practically act to make sure that this happens.
If you are despondent about the lack of understanding that exists in your church, try to be a part of changing the situation. Act as you think others should, and look out for anyone who you feel is marginalised or isolated in the church. |
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