If you are too demotivated to read our words below, or if they don’t seem to make sense to you, please click on this link for emergency advice - www.metanoia.org/suicide
Please don’t give up hope in life. I know from my own experiences that life can be absolutely horrific. However, at other times it can be gloriously wonderful. It can sometimes take a while to get from the bad place to the good, but I have never regretted sticking this journey out to get there. Please hear me out and give yourself a chance. Please do not end it all.
Though you may feel desperately alone and isolated, we are here to recognise your situation and to provide encouragement. Even though we do not know you personally, we know you are out there and we do care. Also, we know that God cares, which is why this web site exists. Because we believe God does exist and cares for everyone, we know that whoever you are and whatever your circumstance, there is always hope if you reach out to God and recognise His reality. However you feel about yourself, He knows you, and your situation, and He wants to help. He forgives whatever we have done wrong, and is present everywhere. He never turns down someone who calls on Him.
“Find the will to live”
As we have already said, if you feel suicidal, then you must be in a very difficult personal circumstance or state. It is not really possible to list all of the problems or situations that may have contributed to how you feel and why your situation is as serious as it seems. What I do want to do is to provide as much help and encouragement to you as possible. I hope that this web site will continue to be a source of hope and strength for you in the future, as you persevere and move forward in hope.
If you are a Christian, you already believe in God, and I trust have known [H]im as a friend and a source of meaning and strength to you in your life. Most sensible people know that knowing God does not exclude you from trouble and strife. The strife may or may not be in part of your own making. Perhaps you are a victim of wrong doing (for example, rape or bullying), which has had a profound negative affect on you. Because of your deep personal misery, and/or to get out of a difficult situation you have found yourself in, you may feel that you would be happier dead than living. Life is so terrible that you want an end to the suffering.
These feelings happen to a significant number of people. Anyone can be affected; rich or poor, young or old, Christian or non-Christian. Don’t feel guilty if you a Christian and you feel suicidal. I know that there will be reasons. Whatever the reasons, the Devil is likely to be exaggerating your problems (and any areas of spiritual weakness), making things even harder. We deal with this spiritual dynamic a little more below. However, whatever the circumstance, and recognising that there will be valid reasons for why you feel the way that you do, this does not mean that you have a right to take your own life.
God gave you life so let Him take it at the right time. Whether you die from age or from an illness, or whatever, allow Him to be in control of your destiny. Trust Him. Meanwhile, take pressure off of yourself. Live for God, and try to find Him. When you get through this time, show kindness to others in need, and know the fact that God can use you. Also, realise how special you are to Him.
I want to acknowledge the deep feelings of pain and desperation that people can be subject to when they suffer. Perhaps you have always been unhappy, as long as you can remember. As well as neglectful or abusive parents, perhaps you were bullied at school. All that you have experienced is rejection, and even if you are a Christian and have regularly gone to Church, perhaps you found different types of abuse and rejection there.
Only God knows the fullness of your situation and how you feel about it. We want to offer two things; first of all some information about places that you can go to for help. Secondly, we want to encourage you to turn to God and to Christians and others (for example, a local doctor), who you feel you can trust, for help.
Getting Practical Help
Our page of contacts and links to organisations and people who may be able to help you is at the top of the page. As well as this, consider talking to a doctor about the basic things that are troubling you. It could be that there is a medical reason for you feeling depressed or suicidal. Professional counselling may be very beneficial in getting to the route cause of your problem, as you can carefully assess with your counsellor the reasons for your negative feelings. If you have helpful friends, use them to support you, and if you go to church, ask for help there.
Even if your church cannot provide proper counselling, it should be able to provide some form of support. Consider changing church if it cannot, and ask your new church how strong their pastoral ministry is and if they will provide some form of support. Sharing your problems with others may really help you. Their listening and perhaps their advice, may somehow “meet you where you need to be met”.
Turn to God for help
As well as these practical measures, turn to God for help. Pray and fast, asking for the Lord to answer your prayers and lift off the heaviness that you feel. Also, believe in Scripture, that God is able to help you and heal you. Isaiah 53:1-12, is very useful. Verse 5 says,
“...He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that bought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.”
Jesus died to heal us of the hurt that is caused by our own sin (wrong or immoral thoughts or actions), the sin done to us, and the effect of sin in the world. You should examine yourself before God, and truly repent of any sin if you have not already done so.
I would also like to add that as well as turning to God and drawing our strength from Him, we very much have to hold on to hope ourselves. God can and will help us, but survival will often require courage and an ability to valiantly stand. This is despite fear, suffering and perhaps confusion which all act to try to undermine.
Standing firm against the enemy
In my experience, the Devil can make matters much worse - when you are already suffering in some way. I feel that often he can have a direct contribution to the burdens of some people, troubling their minds and emotions with all sorts of negative and evil thoughts and feelings. There are several good books available about this area. To get to this information, as well as to some resources about mental disorders (which could be a significant contributory factor to cause suicidal feelings), please click here.
I would also like to make clear that there are many other, more natural, reasons why people can feel suicidal. Perhaps they have experienced intense loneliness and a lack of friends for some time. When a practical solution has been found to a problem like this, for example, a better social environment is discovered, then if the enemy has been exploiting the problem, his influence will be reduced as normality is restored. There is less for the enemy to “latch on to”.
I would like to warn people that there are some Christian teachers and Christian ministries which over-emphasise, in my opinion, the part that the demonic can play in causing Christians problems. This can be very dangerous and negative to peoples’ well-being. The attitude of some is that demons can be caught almost as easily as catching a cold. It is unhealthy to focus on demons. When they are causing us problems, we should recognise this and not deny it.
I feel that we should not assume that people are demonised. We should probe and challenge any darkness, but it is wrong to “place” demons on people. Perhaps the enemy could even use this sort of negatively-focussed environment as an opportunity to multiply any influence he does have on the ministered-to individual.
If you feel that you are in a serious spiritual battle against the enemy, use both fellowship support and also your own authority in Christ to stand against demonic oppression. You have the Word of God at your disposal, so use its truth to combat lies and other attacks. For example, you know from reading the Bible that “nothing can separate (you) from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:38,39). Neither angels nor demons nor anything in creation. However, it should be added at this point that this is true as long as we do not persist in any particular sin, and leave it unrepented. This puts us on shaky ground and leaves us exposed to enemy influence.
Bitterness and Unforgiveness
I want to say a word final word about bitterness. The hurtful actions and words of others may be at the root of some of your problems. Perhaps part of your suffering has been caused by the sin that others have done against you. A good example of this is when someone has sexually abused you as a child. It is so important to forgive people like this who have wronged us.
Even when this is incredibly hard, we must commit ourselves to forgive. This is often a process that takes time. You may begin by reaching a point where you are prepared to forgive someone in principal - out of obedience and fear of God (Matthew 5:21-25). Real forgiveness does need to come, however, even if it is released gradually.
If the person who has wronged us is still known to us, and perhaps seen by us regularly, this can make things all the harder. However, we must forgive to be reconciled with God, and to enable Him to heal us fully. As bitterness leaves us, hurt can be dealt with. Mary Pytches, a well-known Christian author, describes forgiveness as a key principal towards inner healing and wholeness. Please click here for the inner healing section, for more information.
Whatever the reason for your suffering, you are not alone. So many people, including many Christians, suffer in different ways around the world. Feeling anger towards those who wrong us is normal, but do turn to God for help to forgive people. He also offers us the hope that we can again - or for the first time- know real happiness and peace in our lives. I hope and pray that you know that peace and the true comfort of Christ. I also hope that Walking-Wounded.Net will be a source of continued encouragement to you.
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